你现在到底清楚了吗？

Friday, August 24, 2007

finally, i can take a break, albeit a super short one. i have a meeting at sph tmr morning, but more about that later.

i rmb saying this before, i think my body is quite obedient, in the sense that it only breaks down at the end of the week. or maybe it's the chicken rice? the last time, i ate chicken rice on the friday i came down with a sore throat and all. this time i had the same chicken rice, and am having the same symptoms. oh no. hope it doesnt get worse, cos i want to do my show on monday! =) hey, when we start broadcasting, NTU students, esp my dear friends, pls pls pls tune in okay? =P

anyway, in the last 5 days, there were 3 nights i stayed in school till after 9. i left at 8 today. broadcast journ was sickening. our first assignment was due at noon today. auntie man and i spent the entire of yesterday working on it. it was my free day, i dint have to go to school at all, mind you. we spent a couple of hours just trying to capture the footage and then the computer just couldnt stop hanging. auntie man put everything in place alr, then it hanged. shit. if not for that, i think we would not have needed to stayed till 10. =( but oh well, our piece turned out fine in the end. =)

okay, let me talk about the sph thing now. as some of you might know, i am part of this youth project thing that sph is launching in sept. after a long hiatus, we are finally going to have a meeting AGAIN. feels weird after so long. but that's not the point. the point is, i cannot stand the fact that we, more often than not, have fewer than half the main comm turning up for morning meetings! =( right now, i see 8 on the list for the morning meeting. i hope it stays at that number, it's been awhile since we last had a meeting with more than 5 ppl. but there will only be 5 of us for the afternoon briefing. makes me wonder why i commit myself to it sometimes. i mean, yes, some ppl may have genuine reasons for not turning up, but if it's that difficult to coordinate even within ourselves, what makes them think it will be easy to get the rest of the editorial team organised? who can assure that with the recruitment of new members, we will get stronger and be more productive?

- please allow me to continue ranting -

and looking at the name list right now, although there are people from other schools too, it seems to me like a "mini-chronicle gathering" operating outside NTU. a good half of the people from the second recruitment are from sci lah! ok, not that there's a problem with that cos afterall we are a communications school, naturally there are many interested in journ. just that...i dont know how to translate my feelings to words! can look at it from different angles i guess.

i hope i am just being too skeptical, but you know, after the first 8 mths of this year, i think there is reason for me to be skeptical. i really hope people are not just here to "try something new", "experience something different" and yah-dah yah-dah yah-dah. cos really, if they gave such politically correct answers at the interview, i wonder how many really meant it, or they just said it because it will get them a place in here and then hopefully make their portfolios prettier. oh whatever. if that really is the case, i think i would be a very unhappy woman in time to come, cos then i will not be able to get them to work and write the required articles, then i cannot hand in the stuff on time, then the people up there will rush me for it, which i cant do anything about cos the ppl i convey instructions to dont want to follow, then i would be irritated, then i wont be bright and cheery, then i would be a meanie to people ard me...

but i'm not on the verge of giving up yet, not nice to leave halfway. maybe i am just tired today. or maybe, i need to quit my overly critical, skeptical, complacent nature (even though i think it may not be entirely my fault that i think this way. some people just haven got a chance to see the real world so they dont understand). or maybe, i should reserve further comments till after the launch in sep, cos ppl might see a goal to work towards to now that we have a launch date, and hopefully be more productive and make me swallow the words i've just typed.

phew, feels so much better after ranting. thanks for listening, even though you might not get what i'm rambling on and on and on about. it's just one of those days i guess.

Labels: project s, rants, school

posted @ 10:32:00 pm |