你现在到底清楚了吗？

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hello, I'm still alive.

Yea, I know, I say the same old thing every time I blog, it's as if I'm always expecting myself to "die". LOL :P

I realised the thing about working is that, you really don't get much of a life - okay, actually it very much depends on your job scope - and I have no idea why I stay so late everyday. I think I really got to force myself to work faster so I can get my ass out of the office earlier, and have more "me" time at home.

It's scary if you only reach home at 10pm, then shower, have dinner - or supper, watch a bit of TV, and go to bed by 12 midnight, only to wake up again at 6plus am the next morning, and the whole cycle repeats itself. This routine is not very healthy, I think. It's really scary. It's really very difficult to have a life with a routine like this.

And it doesn't help that I feel stressed reporting to work because I don't know what each day may bring (I'm supposed to be excited about this particular aspect of being a journalist, you know). I'm afraid of making mistakes, and where I am now is not exactly very forgiving towards people who err. Well, at least that's what I think, and I think reality is as such too. Okay, maybe it depends on how grave your mistake is.

It can be quite demoralising some times but like what people have told me, fact is I'll be at where I am now, at least for a while, so there's no point in thinking about how "good" a life other newbies my batch are having at other papers, and that I really should take every "scolding" and mistake as training and a learning experience, rather than brooding about it, so that my life would be easier. As always, it's easier said than done but I guess I have to try.

And it's so irritating to not be able to speak your mind, and having to learn who to trust in a "dangerous" environment full of traps and mines. TSK.

And I'm still waiting for a piece of work that I'm proud of and makes me go "WOOHOO, I did that, you know!" I enjoyed this sense of satisfaction a number of times during my internships, so maybe when that happens now, it means I've found some joy and meaning in what I'm doing.

I should stop "complaining" and start thinking positively about my "destiny". All things happen for a reason.

Labels: rants, reflections, work

posted @ 12:24:00 am |